No no no no no. Lydia: No! BARBARA: We're ghosts, damn it! In the world of the dead? Wait, why aren't you dancing? LYDIA: I dont know! (they scream.) You see, the living ignore the dead. Im a fraud! If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. However, we have dozens of other monologues that you can read. Take care of them. MISS ARGENTINA: But thats impossible, you youre a living girl. We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. Its the perfect weapon to help you vanquish your ghost. Bu And you dont exist. And nothing else exists. having plummeted off the Winter River Bridge. LYDIA: We gotta get out of here! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? We have two days to make this a model home. Im so scared Im going to forget her. In Conclusion: Beetlejuice the Musical Is Fantastic. Please, dont spin the wheel! All recently deceased individuals, form a line! Oldest trick in the book! It's from the store! BEETLEJUICE: Adam (dramatic pause.) Look, I know things have been difficult-. Oh god, just the thought of that makes me so ANGRY! The full DC BJ script I relate to it in so many ways, especially in Lydia's journey through grief. Please, forgive me! Welcome to our model home. (LYDIA stabs him.) BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: THE SOUND OF HEART EXPLODING INSIDE A CHEST, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE IN TOWN, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. Youre leaving me? YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, GIRL I GOT YOUR BACK, GIRL I'M HELPING YOU GROW", TIME TO TAKE COMMAND YOU DICTATE THE HAND THE UNIVERSE DEALS. The late '80s cartoon of the same name makes Beetlejuice and Lydia best friends, not maybe-lovers, and the Broadway musical made a big effort to modernize the story: It does keep the "I'm . I can bring your daddy so much pain. Draw a door, go home! CHARLES: Thats insane, shes not(BEETLEJUICE uses his powers to shut up CHARLES. BARBARA: WE'LL RATTLE CHAINS AND I DON'T KNOW! CHARLES: Hey! Thats the rule. Just put me in . NOW LETS SKIP THE TEARS AND START ON THE WHOLE YOU KNOW, AND IF I HEAR YOUR CELL PHONE RINGING, ILL KILL YOU MYSELF, BEETLEJUICE: YOURE, YOURE GONNA BE FINE, DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YOURE ALL GONNA DIE, YEAH, I KNOW YOURE WOKE, BUT YOU CAN TAKE A JOKE HERE, AND EVERY SHOW I DO LIKE A TON OF COKE HERE, BEETLEJUICE: YOU'RE YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE, ENSEMBLE: DEATH IS TABOO, BUT IT'S HARDLY SOMETHING NEW, THERE'S NOTHING MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS CAN DO, BEETLEJUICE IF YOU DIE WHILE WATCHING THIS PERFORMANCE, THE SHOW WILL NOT STOP, AND ON A CERTAIN DATE, THE UNIVERSE KILLS YOU, SO, HOW BOUT WE ALL MAKE A START (DIES IRAE! Maybe the most haunting thing about "Beetlejuice," the new musical version of the 1988 Tim Burton movie that is having its world premiere at the National Theatre, is the creepy feeling of . BEETLEJUICE: I'm sorry, you're giving me advice? I'm on the bench, but coach. The musical held its final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and New York City's biggest . OTHO: So glad that you asked. BEETLEJUICE: Well, well, well, kid. I designed it to reflect wealth, sophistication, and above all-. LYDIA: I just need one of you to open it! BEETLEJUICE: Wait, wait, wait COME ON! If I had known. Chapter 1: The Netherworld. "The Swamp" in The Acting Coach Approach: 48 Monologues for Kids . The whole "being dead" thing has never been so frightfully fun as in Beetlejuice, the Broadway musical based on the 1988 Tim Burton cult classic movie. LYDIA: In my vision, my dad and I are back in our old house in New York. So, what do you say? JUNO: I shouldve guessed youd be mixed up in all of this! We cant hide this anymore. ADAM: (as if hes possessed.) (a beat.) Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. BEETLEJUICE: (sinisterly.) Every single time I finally feel like I start to belong, its Goodbye Delia Youre out of the band Delia Vishnu doesnt need more disciples Delia!. These are the biggest changes that . So this is what you get! LYDIA: No, it was adorable. BEETLEJUICE: Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, please say yes. MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. CHARLES: Delia, there is nothing in your head. And this, this is a business dinner! BEETLEJUICE: Well, it doesnt matter if you say it Adam, THEY HAVE TO BE ALIVE! Ive come to pry my beloved daughter from your cold dead hands. Im gonna teach you guys how to be ghosts! I am SO sick and tired of being invisible and you, you can change all of that! I hope theres a dead therapist somewhere that can give him the help he needs. ADAM: (BARBARA screams.) Do you mind if we all share this house! In a haunted house, all alone! Based on his/her attributes, we recommend you consider these audition pieces! Prrokie! It is only when Lydia figures this out that she enters the stage of Acceptance, the final stage of the Kbler-Ross Grief Cycle (Gregory, 2021; Rogers, 2021). Then you won't believe how far I'll go. I accept you. Beetlejuice is a musical with music and lyrics by Eddie Perfect and book by Scott Brown and Anthony King.It is based on the 1988 film of the same name.The story concerns a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call for help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (after the star; the name is pronounced and often spelled "Beetlejuice"), who is . I had a vision once. Shes impossible. I dont know what I did. I have something to say. ADAM Hey old girl! Keep it away from your sensitive parts. Which does not come easy. BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? Got any references? Sometimes puppet shows are sad. Hibiscus_Flower. CHARLES: Delia Schlimmer, will you do me the honor of signing a prenuptial agreement and be my second wife? The show opened in April 2019 at the Winter Garden Theatre but, just under a year later, the pandemic shuttered it prematurely. BEETLEJUICE: And now for the moment youve all been waiting for! LYDIA: Im gonna use it to bring my mom back from the Netherworld. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual.'. And then mom said, Lets clean up. And she made us sing that song she always loved. ADAM: Oh yeah? Well Im warning you because I got millions of em. ADAM: I have an idea! Pigs cant climb! Eddie Perfect, Lydia is a dark, yet exceedingly smart young woman. First published Apr 06, 2020. I thought she was terrifying, but nobody knew who she was. If requested, here are a few audition monologues for Beetlejuice: "MacKenzie #1" in Audition Arsenal for Men in Their 20s . Thats your answer for everything! Ill do it. Dont you wanna get these people out of your house? Shes a demon, and she doesnt get me. Of course I might have to get a little mean. I like to think I put my own spin on it, but whats the point, you know? ADAM: Kill?!??!? LYDIA: Well, Im not going with them! It bridged the cultural gap between the cult movie and the studio movie, making a genre-movie quirkiness acceptable to the mainstream." New York Times film critic Glenn Kenny 3 I will, I just, OKAY FINE I WILL. After Adam and Barbara realized that Lydia wasn't like the rest of her family, they didn't want Betelgeuse to scare her anymore. BEETLEJUICE: (snaps fingers and the Sandworm attacks) Thats why not! Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. I can bring your daddy so much pain. (Smokes.) Youre under so much stress, you must relax! Like these weirdos. ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. LYDIA: But were moving forward!, right? Hes my white whale. Yes, I love that man of mine. MAITLANDS: BJ IS A GRADUATE OF JUILLIARD! BEETLEJUICE: For a price. So. LYDIA: I dont know. Unless of course, its a murder suicide, which makes for a very awkward eternity. MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? ADAM: Lydia, we're so sorry! Drink it, or throw it out! Here goes nothing. LYDIA: Whats wrong sugarlumps? OO! ; Establishing Character Moment: Adam and the spider. LYDIA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? We want to help you! MAXIE DEAN: Chuck, you moron! And then, spring the trap. Time. CHARLES: Maxie! LYDIA: Excuse me, are you ghosts? Im Barbara, this is Adam. Use their user talk pages. Beetlejuice : I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. If you would like to give a public . I think I really captured your essence. Beetlejuice! But she was talking about us. You are dead. I love it! Lydia. LYDIA: Really? it is my job to help transfer you out of the overwhelming emotional life, and into the blissful numbness and soothing solitude that awaits you in the infinite abyss of nothingness that is the Netherworld. LYDIA: Let me get you some cash for those cookies! Let me point you to the right page. . Ive already been to hell and back. CHARLES: Good! And Id like us to be a family. ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. And yet, I worry. ADAM: Well this just says Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! youre getting really comfy with the whole being dead thing! Dont you get it? Puppet show!! I, myself, am strange and unusual." -Lydia Deetz. "PROLOGUE: INVISIBLE" ENSEMBLE: DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH, AH PRIEST: In times like these, we have no words, we have only each other. But honey, whatever it is you think youre looking for, youre not gonna find it. BEETLEJUICES: ALL WE WANNA DO IS HEAR THAT SOUND. Its like against the law at my house. Its-. Im gonna say it! Girl, just say it three times in a row. Theyre chasing me! Where is that damned exorcist? Dont you remember when we moved in? So, Im selling our house. And life is the only way out! BEETLEJUICE: Why does everyone KEEP LEAVING ME! BEETLEJUICE: Theyre taking it to the dump and without me theyre going to do that to everything! Oh my god! Do not be afraid. We cant just stay in the attic! 2."Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. BEETLEJUICE Finished? ADAM: Well, hey I do not see any cops around here! Then, the B-mans free and the mai tais are on me. I need to really live, really connect! There's lots of cool stuff in there! (MOVERS move in furniture.) Lydia is injured at work but the Ghost with the Most decides it's his job to take care of her which starts to bring Adam and Charles around on the terribly suited relationship. BEETLEJUICE: I KNOW THAT BARBARA! ADAM: Wed love it! (Charles and Delia try a Hi-five) Oh, so close! BEETLEJUICE: Well then you have to learn how to scare them! CHARLES: Im glad you like it. ADAM: Oh! BEETLEJUICE: Its a figure of speech Adam, okay? ADAM: Do you mean us? BARBARA: You were right. she utters this indignant monologue. Sucks-Yes! Make My Millennium!". OTHO: Delia! For decades, there's been talk about making a "Beetlejuice" sequel, but in the early '90s screenwriter Jonathan Gem wrote an entire script for a follow-up (via Far Out Magazine). Once Im dead, my dad will be sorry! So, I have an idea. Yes, I love that man of mine. Adorable! So kinda like this. BARBARA: You cant make every wall an accent wall! *Our system only provides suggested monologues or songs for select characters if we have matching monologues and song information in our database. ADAM: Woah. Alone. I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! New York, NY, Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall LYDIA: Oh. ADAM: I didnt think it was that weak! LYDIA: Hes the loneliest guy I know. YEAH! BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead, but boy does it move. The Preacher, Beetlejuice, and Lydia. Monologues are presented on StageAgent for educational purposes only. BEETLEJUICE: Woah! Well its a lot bigger on the inside! Now rise, and be released from death! But we just have to hold onto each other and live through it. I thought she was talking about us. Well, Bye! DELIA Business friends: I have only known this amazing, amazing man and his unique daughter for a few months I don't even know how many, I'd have to check my pay stubs! but, as my guru Otho always says. CHARLES: Wouldnt even know where to start. Adam, wanna do the honors? But it seems that Teeter is not content with just wowing audiences on stage. The ghost-with-the-most comes to the stage in this edgy and irreverent musical comedy based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film. (draws door.) Except, this one year we tried to do a classic horror theme. Now, go on girl, get out of here, you know youre free, go on, get out of here. TAKE YOUR PLACES I WANT SCARY FACES NOW GO! Im sorry everybody. I can no longer stand to be used like a puppet between two deceitful worlds. Did I mention that my moms a demon? But somehow, someway, you gotta make 'em see ya. Like a gay republican! Now, we dont have a lot of time. OH! Is that why youre wearing those sheets? BARBARA: Thats so strange, Its not hot. This is such an interesting font! The gross-out ghost from the supernatural Tim Burton comedy 'Beetlejuice' sings and dances in this splashy Broadway musical starring Alex Brightman as the demonic degenerate and Sophia BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! And they eat ghosts. And they have scorpions for teeth! Lydia, right now you are redirecting anger and deflecting pain and other terms I learned in my training. BEETLEJUICE See, this is what life is. BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. BARBARA: I know. Hi there. Some things work better in the movie, some work better in the musical. Why is Ohio so powerful?! Beetlejuice truly hits me in a special part of my heart. And such a bold departure from the original source material! For we do not walk alone." LYDIA: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE SAD CLOCKS . BEETLEJUICE: NO! Ages 12-17: Camp Broadway Ensemble @ Carnegie Hall. Chuck, I never leave home without them (he and MAXINE erupt into laughter.) Lets find out! Im so glad you could make it! Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring I orbit. Now you remember what my guru Otho says! Then I guess theres no rush! But, its worth it. this hilarious musical tells the story of lydia deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing . BEETLEJUICE: No. I just can't deal with Delia. Youll have to open the door to find out. April 25, 2019. I asked you to send me a sign. Fine, you wanna be together? NEIGHBOR: Hello?! OTHO: Then lets get to it! Id like to meet my fianc, Delia. You are like ice! With a lovely family inside. SO WE MIGHT AS WELL WALK THROUGH SOME WALLS, 'CAUSE ADAM, WE'RE READY AS WE'LL EVER GET, I GOTTA GET RIGHT OUTSIDE MY COMFORT ZONE. BARBARA Oh, honey. 123! Are you alright? LYDIA: Were not a family. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists, See more characters from They can never take it away! LYDIA: I dont have a lot of friends so, if I have to live in this stupid house, at least I know Ill have you guys in the attic. BEETLEJUICE: WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE 'EM GO CRAZY, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT SOME EVIL DEEP DOWN INSIDE YOU, YOU'VE GOTTA WORK GOTTA HAUNT TILL IT HURTS THROUGH THE NIGHT, AND GIVE THOSE GUYS THE FRIGHT OF THEIR LIVES. All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Devoted wife to Charles, beloved mother to Lydia. Now, we have two days to transform this old house into the flagship model home of my new gated community. The two of you need to hire me right now. And Ive got a plan! I guess Ill just go. DELIA: Nope! So, on the count of three just yell out the scariest thing you can think of! Im going to the Netherworld! Whats a matter Chuck? Parts. It's a gold mine! With an irreverent book, an astonishing set, and a score that . Based on the 1988 Burton film, this musical delves into the life of oddball teen Lydia Deetz, who meets a recently deceased couple and an unruly demon willing to help them haunt a house. CHARLES: No, you have failed. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! So if you wanna save Barbara, then I need you to marry me! LYDIA: Im not going back! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. OTHO: I dont know. You know what it feels like to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one will every love you? Im bringing my mom back! If you're a fan of Beetlejuice the Musical on Broadway, then you probably know Elizabeth Teeter. LYDIA: I dont want your help. Synopsis: Beetlejuice, a malevolent spirit masquerading as a guide to the Netherworld meets the Maitlands, a recently deceased couple learning the ropes of haunting their own home. Now, Im gonna go find a room to bless. I havent always been such a good mother. Im invisible. Home Explore Songbook Top Artists Groups Apps Get VIP. BEETLEJUICE: Your mom? However, there was no reasoning with the spirit, but Adam and Barbara had a slight advantage in the fact that they weren't stuck in Adam's miniature town. Broadway's "SCREAMINGLY GOOD FUN!" (Variety) musical comedy is now haunting houses all across the country!Based on Tim Burton's dearly beloved film, BEETLEJUICE tells the story of Lydia Deetz, a strange and unusual teenager whose whole life changes when she meets a recently deceased couple and a demon with a thing for stripes. You dont recognize me? Ooh, ooh, somebody's at the door; alright, Let's make some more people scream! The Tony-nominated smash Beetlejuice played its final performance on March 11 at the Winter Garden Theatre. CHARLES: Where is the shrimp? DELIA: Life coaching! Call 9-1-1! ), BEETLEJUICE: HEY ITS GREAT THAT YOU ATE UP MY PLAN, NOW THE POOCH HAS BEEN SCREWED AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN, BEETLEJUICE: YOU MESSED WITH THE WRONG BOOK. I have a chance to see her again, please! Were going to play a little game! I'M GONNA MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME, I'LL MAKE HIM SAY MY NAME (MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME). I see you. Because I dont think we can. LYDIA: What? Ill just ask Adam and Barbara. OKAY? BEETLEJUICE: So then, I was like Lets do this! The musical premiered at the National Theatre, Washington, D.C. in October 2018, prior to opening on Broadway at the Winter Garden Theatre on April 25, 2019. LYDIA: The Netherworld? You both get em. LYDIA: Mom?! What am I doing? Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. BEETLEJUICE: Well, yeah, because youre not recently deceased. BEETLEJUICE: WOO! And Ill admit. We did find that out. One big dark room. And their eyes! When she entered the kitchen there was Beetlejuice at the table, working on a crossword, wearing brand new reading glasses. And speaking of, right on time! Im the perfect person to help you battle your ghost. And I fear for my safety around you. Because dead or alive, you dont got somebody who really gets you, then youre going to feel lonely and worthless and youll never reach your goal weight because you eat when youre sad this guy knows what Im talking about. BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? Im sorry its kind of a mess. Barbara, put her there now put her here, OWWWWW! LYDIA: (to CHARLES.) She was my whole world. LYDIA: Greetings, ghosts. But when he turns it on, what if your mom shows up instead? (an idea.) Delia, that was just the wind. CHARLES: Lydia, I have asked Delia to marry me. ), ON THE WHOLE BEING DEAD THING (AH AH AH AH). New Car smell people LYDIA: And we, are old book smell people. (to audience.) (chuckling.) Because I too am attracted to Mr. Beetlejuice. But thats only because I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! JUNO: Anyone whose ever died is in there. LYDIA: It's like I told you, Dad: This house is haunted and the ghosts who live here want you out! Your mother loved this song. LYDIA: What? CHARLES: Lydia! Theyre the real villains of this show. Thats a neat trick. Mom!! DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. Beetlejuice the musical moment youve all been waiting for irreverent book, astonishing. 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